the pendulum always swings back...

Yesterday was a day for taking stock... and while I typically try to employ some humor in these posts, I'm not sure if it fits. In the morning after getting the school-aged children up and out the door I drove to visit my very new baby cousin... who is beautiful in every way. Not only was he graced with an indescribably lovely baby cry in the key of C, he is all kinds of beautiful born to beautiful parents who couldn't be prouder. He will don carefully chosen clothing to leave the hospital in his expertly installed car seat where a warm stable home awaits filled with love and acceptance. I cried on the way home. I cried for his blessings... and for my own. I hope his future is filled with all the grace and love his brand new life deserves.

I went to work this same afternoon in a very different environment. I was awaiting dismissal and listening to a sweet little boy talking to his teacher and thinking on that sweetness when he casually mentions this sentence as if he's discussing weekend plans:

9 year old: "We're moving."

teacher: "You are?"

9 year old: "My Dad and I live with my Grandma and the house is going into foreclosure so we can't stay."

teacher: "Oh."

That was the exchange. So matter of fact. I had to step into the classroom because I felt like I got punched in the stomach. The vagary of it all. The fact that a nine year old was aware of "foreclosure"... the fact that the teacher's reaction was the same as it might have been when he heard the lunch specials earlier that day... it just floored me.

I guess it was just a wake up call. That everyone has their problems... and that I can't save them all. I wondered if I would ever develop that type of callous the teacher seemed to show... or if that was even what I witnessed... maybe it was just the well crafted response of a bleeding heart like mine. Maybe I'll have a response like that someday, too.

Bah... I'm not a judge of anything... except for who actually started the fight in the bathroom last night while brushing their teeth. Or who was actually playing with the DSi first. I should be so privileged.

So I'll just send a silent message that stability finds that family and all the other ones like that and worse... and try to roll through my own with a little more grace and candor... at least until the next fight breaks out...

are we there yet???

By it's very definition a long day suggests a period of time longer even more tedious than the descriptor initially expected. I used to use this term loosely referencing a trying eight hour day at the office including a few Neanderthals and egos the size of mountains... or maybe a family gathering involving forced smiles and wishful suggestions of places for one's head under my breath...

This was before the blending... before the drop-offs and errands, and pick-ups and cookie baking. Before the snacks in the car, and gearing 3 kids up for soccer simultaneously while dragging a toddler along. My eldest literally went up 3 shoe sizes since fall soccer. This means men's 9 at 9 years old. This quickly translated to $75 cleats in lieu of the $20 kid's cleats... but don't worry...we still bought two of those... in pink. Then there's shin guards and socks and shorts and slides and Underarmor...

Oh, then another store for the twin's birthday presents, Easter outfits and more shoes... the metallic and gem covered dress up kind I am certain will initiate a barrage of "my feet hurt" comments upon first wear. Dammit if they aren't adorable though. I'd wear em. Speaking of which, what the hell am I going to wear for Easter? My wardrobe leans heavily from business casual to grocery store and gym worthy... I'm sure there's something black though... maybe it will pass as chic... probably not.

Then dash to soccer practice, back home to let the old dog and puppy out... and yes, there was Mc Donald's in the car... Now I've got a pile of laundry, a dirty kitchen floor, and a man due home in 30 minutes. How can I type this blog? Multitasking in my favorite spot. The reason I was recently gifted a new laptop... so I could close the door to the bathroom and be alone for 20 minutes... which by the way are almost up.

Some day off, huh? Tomorrow will most certainly hold a brighter itinerary... soccer practice for the littler one, birthday party for the twins, birthday dinner for my grandma, laundry, puppy poop, baby poop, temper tantrums, more eating in the car... I've got big hopes for a shower... maybe, if I could find a waterproof case for my Macbook, I could even get another blog written... hummm....

and then there were two..

This morning my two natural born children went to spend the night with their dad, my man on his second 16 hour shift day left just me and the babies... this guarantees a few things...

First, a shower. For me, and me alone... hot... with shaving and exfoliating, and conditioning resulting in full make-up and killer hair... you know, the kind that looks like you just finished a sexy little romp and a ride in a convertible... (not that I can't rock the rolled out of bed and blew out my bangs for effect...).


Cleaned and primped I then get to catch up on blogs and Facebook, spend an hour with my love, a leisurely shopping excursion for random items... new bath toys, bread, and take-out... all the while toting 2 children, one of whom has a 10 word vocabulary.

When they're parceled like that they're individual personalities sparkle... they're agreeable and inquisitive... cuddly and complimentary. It's why I stagger bedtimes during the week. It gives me a half hour or so with each one to just be them... a very dear cousin reminded me of what I believe to be the ultimate goal in small people development... "I exist as I am. That is enough." Mr. Whitman had it right... and I'm still trying... but I hope all my kiddos feel it.


Top it all off with SNL and Diet Coke and I'm a happy girl. Just need it to be 5am so I can get a little snuggle time in before the baby wakes up...

Sometimes, you just order Thai...

Monday there was life... mine anyway... running around... cooking something yummy... setting up for the most recent charity event... addressing a crowd of 450 people... talking about the Oscars... feeding children, doing laundry, cleaning up puppy pee... and then there was the added bonus... wearing heels for the first time in about six months, almost getting a speeding ticket, and the 9 year old getting caught passing a note in class. Now it's not unusual for a kid to get in a little trouble from time to time... I understand... I passed notes... but when I got caught I had to take the punishment... write 25 times "I will not pass notes in class"... and yes, I did purposefully leave a space between the "p" and the "ass" to be a jerk... but that was it...

My nine year old decided he would deflect the punishment by telling his teacher that he "wished he wasn't here anymore"... and "it would be easier for everyone if he were gone". This of course did not fare well for him. Or me. Instead of getting ready for the event I had that evening, I sat with him in the Principal's office assuring them he was not suicidal and did not understand the gravity of the statements.

All is well by today, order had been restored and all I had today was a puking seven year old and an injured man... oh, and the rest of the stuff that goes along with my life. She puked off the side of the bunk bed... narrowly missing the nine and four year old's bunks... so they're on the couch... and she's quarantined... now it's all about minimizing exposure. It's gonna be a long night...

12 hours 6 kids...

We had a house full today...six kids ranging from 10 years to 16 months... for 12 full hours. There were also 2 dogs ranging from 6 years to 6 months... one bloody nose, one bitten cheek, from the 15 month old... not one of the dogs... two poopy diapers, 2 gallons of milk, 2 puppy accidents, and we managed to get ready for a grown-up fundraiser tomorrow. Did I mention the parents are both ill? Massive sinus colds.

The baby was out of sorts... too much commotion I guess... the 4 year old not wanting to share her 2 half brothers with her new roommates... and to top it all off, it rained... all day.

So they wii-ed and watched movies and colored and trashed the playroom... which they did a great job of cleaning up, by the way... made their own pizzas and read books. We heard the words "I'm bored" about 25 times, and the words "they're not letting me play!" at least 50 times, but in the end... it was a good day... at least that's what the video camera will show...

I suppose I'm just proud of they way they're all willing to adjust. Share their space, they're possessions, their parents... it can't be easy.

So for tonight, I hope these colds go away... and the puppy holds it all night... and the baby wakes up before I really fall asleep, and that the minds of all those great kiddos are dreaming beautiful dreams knowing they are loved.

So today I was at work... I manage a tutoring program at a few local schools... and it was shopping day. The kids earn tokens for their work and every few weeks the get the chance to spend them... They are given the choice to spend the 90 some tokens they had accrued or keep saving them to earn a Border's gift card. They average about 7, so most of them spend. This one girl today was so excited to save... Boarder's is her favorite store.

All of a sudden, she looks at me and says, "I'm moving"... as it's something she's just recalled. I ask her when, and she says "today... after tutoring". I question her about the date but she's adamant. She cashes in her tokens and returns to her seat.

When Mom comes to pick her up she's hurried... almost desperate... asks if she can take her daughter early since they're moving... now.

It's all I can think about. Why the sudden move? Are they in danger? Do they owe money? Is the little girl going to be ok? Everyone has a certain amount of shaky ground to walk from time to time... money problems, personal drama... but something just made me sad... maybe she remembered to say good bye to her friends... maybe not.

Either way, I wonder what she'll have to endure... what she already has... I hope she finds her way to peace.

i had to laugh...

Some of you may not be aware, but when you buy half a dozen bottles of wine at a major chain grocery store they lift the lid of that bagging carousel and inside are re-usable grocery bags with bottle separators... which they give to you...

Another nuance is that if that same order also contains baby Motrin, instant breakfast, a five pound bag of potatoes, a steam vaporizer, and Children's cold strips, not only do they give you the bag for free, they ask you for i.d... as if to say, 'there's no way in hell your under 21, but you look like you could use a break.'

So tonight, I toast the check out lady who made my day... the vaporizers have been activated, the meds dispensed, the dogs let out, the kitchen cleaned, the stew put away, the laundry started, and now... on to the extra-curriculars... which will most likely include one of the bottles of wine.

as good a start as any...

One thing to understand about this blog is that there will most likely be absolutely no continuity whatsoever... there will also be multiple entries in one day...possibly unexplained absences... and most certainly too many points of ellipsis... I promise to keep spelling and grammar issues to a minimum (holds three fingers up in true Girl Scout pledge).

To be blunt, and I mean that... if you would have told me two years ago any of the events I am to chronicle here were going to unfold, I'd have laughed, no, guffawed at the mere thought.  (To be clear, I hate the word mere... it's so vague and bland... like plain rice... blech.)


Hummm... there's a point here, I'm sure of it... oh, right.  The chitlins... or children... babies... blessings... brats... spawns... superstars... heartbreakers, or highlights-of-my-existence.  There are 6...and before you ask, no, I did not bare all of them personally, although sitting here on the couch with no bra my chest and belly might suggest otherwise... 


Did I mention there'd be run-on sentences?  


So then... as I was saying... and then there were six...  and this is my idea of written therapy.  Feel free to use it to laugh at, cry about, or sit slack-jawed in the wonderment I find pretty frequently amidst the chaos...oh wait... that last one's me.