No one ever said parenting was going to be easy. There are those who play up the gratifying elements as you thoughtfully pat your swollen belly with the first one... but after that, there are no punches to be pulled. It's hard hard work.
Parents of blended families have the added challenge of co-parenting with often times less than agreeable non-costodial parents. There are the basic conditions... when to pierce your daughter's ears, soccer season schedules, the importance of homework completion... yearly physicals... and then there are the more difficult issues... discipline, PG-13 movies, bedtimes, what constitutes an appropriate babysitter, an acceptable period of time before introducing the latest girlfriend. Either way, it gets tricker... especially when there is a vast moral difference between you and your ex. Even with the loving support of a dedicated partner the conflicts with the non-costodial parents can be draining. In our case, the moral compass of both the exes points almost 180 degrees opposite our own.
So you stand up for morality and goodness and honesty. All the while trying not to express to your growing children that one of their parents is a stark raving sociopath who directs their energy solely to the gain and benefit of themselves alone. (*counts slowly backwards from 10)...And you pray. Pray that they pick up the good that they can from their brief exchanges every other weekend. Pray that they have an ounce of the common sense you're sure they must have inherited from you... and that the stable home you work so tirelessly to provide wins out.
My money's on the good triumphing over immorality... I've gotta make that bet.
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Amen sister. We have the EXACT same situation here, well, maybe now EXACT, but the morality pointer on both of our exes are pointing the equivalent measure of degrees here. One is one has been non-existent for 6 years and has since gotten himself into a HUGE amount of criminal trouble and now wants to see his son, and the other is so crazy that she named her new baby with her new husband her exes name. ( That would be my man's last name!)
ReplyDeleteFighting for doing the right thing is EXTREMELY hard in these cases. I bet on the good too, I just have to believe that.